Gym

I started working out again! Yey! Since I can no longer walk short distances while panting, i know it's time for me to hit the gym again. Started my first work out yesterday with my medicine student friends and it was fun. We told ourselves we need to come back everyday.

Today, i barely can move because of the soreness of my legs and my arms. I targeted my obliques and shoulders yesterday and somehow i haven't experienced any soreness at work, but the pain today is excruciating. Hahaha.

Oh well, I have to go back tomorrow.

Asked.

Is this blog still updated or the blogger is just too lazy to write things?

Post Mortem

There I was, going up the ramp, panting and sweating, nasal flaring, ripped jeans, skin was showing... lol... damn it, Paul, pull yourself together.

The day of me being a nurse was supposed to start at 7 in the morning, I received my nocturnal shift nurse at 7:30 am. I came early but I had to fix my hair and all so that's it. Nurses should be prim and proper upon greeting the patients. Upon endorsing the patients' meds to me, at exactly 8:15 am, the horrible thing happened. There was a code blue.

A code blue is a sign in which hospitals used to signal an impending or during an arrest of a patient. All nurses or mostly majority of the nurses should be on the bedside to assist the doctor in any way to revive the patient i.e., intubate, CPR, etc.

The patient was a 87-year-old male who has long been a stroke patient. Beside his almost lifeless body was his children, three of them, actually holding his feet and stroking it hoping to resurrect him. I wasn't there but my hands were ready for any drugs that can be used for reviving.

Cardiac monitors whooshed immediately to his side to check his heart rhythm but it was now close to a flat line. Everything inside the room was quiet except for the beeping of the device and the hissing of his 10-liter-per-minute regulation of the oxygen tank. Yes, due to his suppressed lungs, he needed that huge amount. The Resident Doctor on duty auscultated for any breathing sounds or wheezes but to no avail.

Sadly, his pulse stopped bouncing and both of his hands thudded from his chest grasping for air on the side of the bed. Simultaneously, the long sound of a flat line was heard on the machine. He's dead.

He was then pronounced later that time.

Post mortem was made by one of the nurses.

I wasn't of any help that day.

Insomnia

Damn it!

I was supposed to be done with my blog entry from another app but it went stupid and all and it crashed. Upon reopening it, my entry went kapoot. That's it. My marvel writing went from epic to a piece of trash.

Sigh.

Anyway, it's now 12 midnight and I still could not sleep. I still have work tomorrow. This must be the thought of excitement because my friends and I will be going for a 3-day trip at a nearby city. Personally, I think a trip of friends is more enjoyable than with loved ones BUT nothing beats a family getaway because they will shoulder all the expenses. We will be going on a budgeted trip. We will stay on the cheapest hotel and eat the cheapest (but clean) food we can find to survive the trip. :)

...Or it must be the fact that I spent almost four hours sleeping when we got home from church. Mom slept longer but now she was happily dreaming off to somewhere maybe with dad. We miss him but she misses him more.

Now the room's quiet except for the silent humming of the aircondition unit and mom's discreet snoring slash breathing. The room was dark and only the light from the iPad emitting was my means of light from all this darkness enveloping the room. Too deep, Paul. I thought this was a journal, not a novel.

Sorry.

After 30 minutes of writing this crappy post, I still could not feel myself dozing off. My eyes are still big and wide awake (lol I have huge eyes so i think this is still normal) but there are still no signs of yawning, not even rapid blinking.

Sigh. I might as well force myself to sleep tonight.

Good night. Happy sunday.

Back from Vacation

Finally, we're back from Bohol. And I got these amazing tan lines which I'm not really proud of. Because if I happen to take off my shirt, I look like I'm wearing another shirt. Also, the fact that I don't want to reveal my tan lines is that I'm too fat. Huge, maybe. I gained a lot of pounds since I was in Qatar and hoping to be thinner since I'll be staying here at home for a year or two. I look like Winnie the Pooh. Chocolate Winnie the Pooh. :)

We spent our summer vacation for 4 days in Bohol, Philippines. As you all know that the Philippines is the Central Marine Diversity in the world. I don't know if that's true but as we went there snorkeling, it is. The sea was very clean, free from pollution and garbage. It was cool, and the sea breeze was invigorating.

For 4 days, we circled Bohol visiting their tourist attractions. Some major ones like the world renowned Chocolate Hills which until now I wondered why they named it that way and some minor things like a 60 year old 3 feet long man. I didn't dare take a picture of him because I was saddened. For me, the family made him a freak so that many people will go there and see. It should not be that way but my mom told me that it's one way of supporting the man's needs financially.

We also get to see the smallest primate in the world - the tarsiers. Since I was a kid, the only thing I like about going to Bohol were those puny creatures. Unfortunately, they won't let us touch or even pet it. Darn.

Over all, my summer vacation was terrific not because of the sites and the attractions were all visited and documented, but the bond between our family grew stronger.

Get it Right

What can you do when your good isn't good enough

When all that you touch tumbles down.

My best intentions keep making a mess of things

I just want to fix it somehow

But how many times will it take for me to get it right.

Rachel Berry, Glee

Nuptials

Yesterday, my ex-girlfriend just got married.

I envy her fiance. Most of the good qualities of a women are with her. Grace, poise, timid and shyness and most of all, God fearing. Those are the traits that I really want in a woman. The bonuses are the beauty but I still want the bonus. Evil me. But anyhow, I am so proud of her.

I really wanted to go there but I wasn't invited so I couldn't go back home to the Philippines (I wish) but thanks to the photos, I, myself, got involved in the event. Even a bit.

She was pretty. Period.

All my friends were there. All our original classmates on our First Year in Nursing were there except me.

Best wishes to you and your husband, Ms. Julie.

Allegations

Facebook's now blocked here in the office and I begged our IT Manager not to block twitter too. He said yes, but Facebook is still much better than twitter. So I am still bored in the office. Anyway, good thing Blogger was not involved with the major blocking of the sites. That's why I started blogging again.

An allegation (also called adduction) is a claim of a fact by a party in a pleading, which the party claims to be able to prove. Allegations remain assertions without proof, until they can be proved.^[1

That's from Wikipedia, by the way. I would just like to tell them that the statement above is the real meaning of the word, allegation. Accusing things without proof is not allegation. Is Oral Defamation, specifically, Slander.

Defamation—also called calumny, vilification, traducement, slander (for transitory statements), and libel (for written, broadcast, or otherwise published words)—is the communication of a statement that makes a claim, expressly stated or implied to be factual, that may give an individual, business, product, group, government, or nation a negative image. It is usually a requirement that this claim be false and that the publication is communicated to someone other than the person defamed (the claimant).^[1]

Too long? Yes, but without that lengthy paragraph, you can't get all the gist of the word.

Why do I feel like Einstein and quoting them words, you say? It's because I was been alleged and defamed. One of the Managers in the Company that I've worked with accused me of a lot of things. Might as well enumerate some.

1. Stealing. WHO IN THEIR SANE MIND WOULD COMMIT SUCH ACTS HERE IN THE MIDDLE EAST?!? I know for a fact that when you are caught stealing, your hands will be cut and you will be sentenced to death and other gruesome acts. It's a story they've told but regardless if it's true or not, they're should be a price to pay when you steal. It's a sin and it's against the Law. They accused me of stealing money from them. This was the one that I ignored because this really wasn't true. Where will I get money when I myself have money. I earned it by working here.

2. Being close to the girls. It's true. It's true that I'm close to them ladies but I also know the Arab Culture and I have limitations. I didn't kiss one of the girls in the office. Of course not. I didn't commit any obscene acts with the girls also. They're just thinking that way because I think they're just insecure because they can't be with the women I hang around. One employee in fact told the CEO and President that I was caught staring one of my female friends in the office's back while she bent down. Jealous people. As if he would do the same. Staring, also, is different than looking. It's not my problem that I smell so good, my breath smells fresh and I don't have body odor, that I'm a chick magnet.

Actually, there's a lot more to rant about but I'm afraid my mom's going to read it again and gets frustrated because I rant a lot again and it's time for a coffee break.

Sulked 2

You know me, an Emo. Emo as in emotional masochist. Not people who wears black all the time (but I'm wearing one now) and sporting those skinny jeans and applying those eyebrow makeup. I love it when my heart bleeds to death. I love it when people bash at me emotionally and most of all I really love it when I sulk in my bed and cry.

But this situation was different.

15 March 2011, 4:30 PM

One Project Manager stepped in the office with a Major Pain on his kidney for kidney stones. Two stones on the left and 3 on the right. I hope I got it right. Anyway, he showed me an ampule inside a bottle. From the looks of it, I think I already knew what he wanted from me. Giving him and injection intramuscularly. He then elaborated his condition and he needed me to inject the drug on his butt cheek. Sounds easy.

Not.

Then here's the dilemma. You see, I am not a REGISTERED Nurse here in Qatar. I am in the Philippines. For 2 years of work, and 2 years of on the job training, injecting patients are like my thing, not to brag.

Here comes my boss. She told me let a nurse do it for him. What the- i was a bit offended but I respected her decision. So I told the Project Manager the reason. He then gave me a look, a look I will never forget until I die, a look of regret and shame. Deep in his heart I know what that look meant.

He went down, bemused and a bit mad. I then asked one Engineer to translate what is he murmuring about. He told me, 'I'm a FAKE nurse.'

That phrase struck me like lightning. It wobbled my knees making me burst into tears and wept like there's no tomorrow. This has been my most depressing moment for this month. I sipped my coffee and went to the bathroom to cry a bit. It's really not good for a male to cry here, they told. Good thing it was 4:40PM in the afternoon. Twenty more minutes before off-time and some people were not using the comfort room anymore.

At home, I never sulked. My emotional masochism wasn't there. I don't know what happened. I passed out maybe because of being tired, and hurt.

Driving

Nooooooooooooooo!!!

It's my driving exam on the 9th of February and I feel like I'm gonna blow. I have butterflies in my stomach since the week started. However, I never had any difficulties during my driving school. I just want to shout it out loud. That's why I'm starting to blog again.

And blogspot.com is not block anymore in the office. yay!

I started my driving exam last 20 January. I chose the most expensive course, the full course, not because I'm wealthy but there are 4 tries in a full course in case I failed on the first try. I hope I will pass on my first try. *praying*

I'm driving a manual transmission and it sucks. Big time. I keep telling to myself that it's better for me to learn MT because AT (automatic transmission) is much easier. Plus in the Philippines, where gasoline is costly, an MT car is much affordable to drive. :)

The exam will start at 5:00 in the early morning so I have to be there at 4:30 to puke on people. lol. I don't know how will I get there but I know God will provide. Maybe a magic carpet perhaps, since this is in the Middle East. Got it? Magic Carpet. Middle East. If you didn't get it, go play in traffic and spit on your dog.

Things

Things to blog:

1. Family Christmas Vacation in Qatar (Porkless Christmast)

2. Upgraded (where i incremented?)

3. Friends? No comment.

4. Nishan, help (driving lessons)

5. Jazz (dream car)

6. AFC in Qatar (which i never watched even one match)

Merry Christmas

Yay! It's nearly Christmas. It's the best season of the year. The carols. The cold weather. Celebrations. Me likey.

I like Everything about Christmas except one thing: Santa Clause.

Yes.

He's evil. Here are my reasons why i hate him:

both wear red and live in extreme climates

both are in competition with Jesus

they both inspire greed

Both are always watching!! ALWAYS!!

They see you when you're sleeping...

They both have minions

there both the same person! there names are anagrams for each other

They both punish you if you're bad.

Well, merry Christmas!

Rough Day

Did you ever experience you give all you got but people just keep raining on your parade? I do. A lot of times.

"Is this the only job you have? follow up one piece of paper?' One Project Manager shouted those words to me. I was shocked. Surprised that I didn't know what to do but shook my head and headed upstairs. I got offended. A bit. And quite embarrassed, too since a lot of people heard that. I only wanted his signature as per our ISO auditing.

Strike One.

During lunchtime, I said something unlikely to my officemate and up until now, she's giving me a cold shoulder. If there's one thing I hate is that one of my officemates will never speak to me and then spread rumors about me doing nothing inside the office which in fact, I did many. That's why I'm hired, right? So, maybe tomorrow, I'll expect another cold treatment from my officemate which happens to be my desk mate which I share my lunch and coffee breaks with. Sigh. Tear dropping.

Strike Two.

My boss. You know her. I think I mentioned her a lot of times already in my blog. I like her as a boss. But I think she doesn't like me. She knows everything except one thing - my job. I AM A NURSE. Our office boy is sick today so as a quote, "company nurse," end quote, I need to take care of him. Fine. I'll do that. AND STILL, SHE KEEPS ON RAVING ABOUT MY NURSING INTERVENTIONS - take his medications, take his temperature, do this, do that, OF COURSE I KNOW THAT! YOU DON'T HAVE TO TELL ME THAT. I KNOW WHAT I'M DOING AND I'M A LICENSED NURSE. At least I kept cool and comfortable and walked out of the office. Thank God for toilets, they're my sanctuary. I can weep there. I can pray there. I can even call my mom there. Total Seclusion.

Strike Three.

My boss interviewed a girl in the office hours ago. The girl's good. Too good. She speaks well. Fluent. Eloquent. And she's got poise in answering all questions my boss threw at her. I knew it. She will be the new HR Coordinator. She will replace me.

Im out.

Slurp Day 1: The Awakening

So I've been very excited about my new protein shake and going to the gym every other day. That's the reason why I bought a magazine about having great abs. It's called The Truth about Six Pack Abs.

Actually, I just downloaded it somewhere. I didn't buy them. However, I bought an aerobic ball as one of the gym equipment mentioned in the magazine.

As for the Protein shake, I opened it and it really tasted like caramel toffee. Sweet. Unfortunately, I don't know what kind of water to use - cold or warm. I also don't know when to drink it. There's only one person who can answer that.

Mr. Google.

I searched the internet fast enough not to get caught on the CCTV. By the way, the camera is just above me. Talk about openness, no privacy. Nevertheless, I got my answer. Before exercise and after exercise. But since I just ate today, I will probably drink it after I'm done sweating out.

The gym closes at 11 o' clock and it's still 8 so I will be there at 10. I assume there will be lots of people there desperately trying to grow a six-pack,too. I hope I won't doze off.

Desperate me,

Paul

Slurp

Whenever I am alone (or feel to be alone), I imagine stuff. Imagining stuff is fun, especially if it won't come true. Like for example, when I was sitting on the toilet this morning, I imagine myself having this six-pack abs and carrying those big guns on my shoulders. However, I think to myself, I can't do that.

Wait. I think I can.

Steroids? Too risky.

Gym? Too expensive.

Home Gym. Too lazy.

See. It's better to imagine than do it. But as I noticed my bulging tummy hanging around my waist. I need to act fast. I don't want to be fat. Period. I don't have any issues on fat people because some of my friends are fat. My dad's has a big tummy. :)

What if I have a perfect body to die for, I imagined again. When I do have one, I probably would go to the beach everyday and take my shirt off and, you got the point.

So I acted fast. I really, really, acted fast.

After office hours, I went immediately to a shop selling Whey Proteins. Goodness, I want one of them big bottles babies since I was 10. As stupid as I am, I asked the seller if it will make my body bigger. He told me he's selling supplements, not steroids. Good answer.

24 grams of protein awesomeness!

So I need to exercise AND drink those protein shakes after all. Sigh.

Too late to remorse, I already bought one BIG (as in) bottle of a Whey Protein with Coffee Caramel flavor. Sweet. I have to open it tomorrow though because I went to the gym yesterday. I need to have 3 sessions per week so that I can obtain those wash-board abs. (what's a wash board abs, by the way?)

Yumminess Paul. :)

Qatar Dream

Okay, you all now know that Qatar won the 2022 FIFA world Cup Bid. The dream they keep on dreaming since I was uncircumcised. They finally got it.

For them: Hooray. For me: meh.

Congratulations, by the way Qatar for winning.

I just don't care anyway. :)

It's because I don't like sports and I don't have a sport.

Lens

Yay!

Purchased an underwater camera last night and boy it was so cool! I haven't tried it underwater though since I'm in a desert Country. Darn it. That's why they had it on sale. Nevertheless, I managed to test it in the bath tub which I had a little doubt about the product thinking it will get soaked and ruin the warranty and it will die out. Silly me.

I tested it and the photos were not really as good as my SLR (duh!). But it's handy and portable and I like the colors. They have 6 colors but I only got the yellow/gold one. I like the green one which the last piece was sold to a Qatari.

The best thing about the sale was it included a photo printer! it was so awesome that I peed my pants a bit when I printed my chauvinistic pose image and it came out great. It comes with a 4-gig SD card and a lot of Photo Papers as well.

When I get back to the Philippines, I have to try this baby. Beaches, here I come.

handy,right?

Passport

We are almost 200 employees in the company and roughly 120 passports are currently in the HR Department for safekeeping. Yes, they can take their passports out because it's illegal to take passports from employees but it's their preference to let us keep them. I have my passport in my room. :)

It's kinda cool because I see a lot of passports from other nationalities like from the Philippines, Jordan, Nepal and even from the United States. It's fun to see their travel history and the number of passports they have since some of the employees, due to the fact that they are working for 15 years now, have 2 or 3 passports in our vault.

But it's not just fun but you have to be responsible for it. You will be accountable for lost passports and they will kill you by slicing your head off and feed them to cats outside the sheik's caste. Kidding.

Bad News

My classmate and dear friend Henri already gave up from his almost everyday visits to the doctors and tons of medicines to be injected at him and fortunately(spiritually) he died today. It was really a sad thing because I knew he really fought for it and I know that he still wants to live. After all, he is too young to die - he's still 23 years old.

Then I realized that death is unavoidable. If God wants you to be dead right this very minute, he can do that. He can turn your 'style' of death to become horrible and painful or a sweet just-lying-on-the-bed kind. Either way, he still is the one responsible for death to occur. You can't choose when and where to die. You also can't choose what type of 'killing method' will be used upon you so you might as well be ready at all times.

Sometimes, I'm scared of death. Scared in which I don't know what to do if I'm being told by the doctor that I only have 2 days to live. Scared that there's a time limit for me to surpass this cruel world after two days. What will happen to my friends and family after I die? Will a lot of people come to my funeral? Will they cry? Will they remember me even if I'm dead after 10,20,30 years? I don't care. I'm not there anymore to witness.

However, I'm not afraid of talking about death. Some people do. I just don't know why. They say I'm morbid. Morbidly stupid to talk about death and how will I face them and what if I die today and all those thoughts. People hearing those things I say usually punch me and tell me to shut up because it's not a good topic. But why? Death is unavoidable. We all go to that process, except for Rapture when God will take us which is the best thing but why say it's a bad topic? Maybe because, they aren't ready to die yet. They don't want to talk about it because they don't know what to do with themselves when their hour is near.

Well, the thing is, I'm ready to die. And hoping also Henri.

Rest in Peace, Henri.

Paul

Dear Mom,

I miss you so much. I miss you so much that I want you to come here to Doha to see me. To see your son all grown up physically but still acts childishly.

I miss the times when we go to dinner always. May it be a fancy restaurant or a simple fast food chain, I'd still enjoy your company. Nonsense talks and boisterous laughter were always one of our highlights when we were eating together.

I miss the times when you scold me whenever I've done something bad. You scold me whenever I arrived late at home, texting on the wee hours of the morning and you always scold me when I talked back at you and dad. I wish I could be there so that I can still hear your voice even though you're mad at me. I can't hear them anymore as of now because I'm still here.

I miss the times when we go to church together. Serving the Lord with you could never been so good.

I miss you.

Paul