I grasped my phone tightly hoping you could somehow call or message me but alas, I didn't hear a beep nor the feeling of the phone vibrating. Is this what they call a Terminal phase? THE End? No, I said to myself. Things will be okay. Maybe you're just busy or doing something else. But, you could have messaged me or give me a call but neither did really happened.
So, what now?
I keep telling to myself maybe you found someone else, someone better than me. After all, you're a complete package - smart, rich, charming, etc. You can pick anyone you like. Is being coldness already a sign that you're leaving me already?
Tell me, please.
I can understand.
Crying rivers,
Paul.
Thursday, April 8, 2010
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
Another Injury
Okay, I'm now done talking about physical Injuries and other maladies but I have a question: Which one hurts the most?
Situation 1: You're with your girlfriend and she meets her ex on a super market. You eavesdropped and fell on one of the counters and scraped your knee on the corner.
or
Situation 2: You're with your girlfriend and she meets her ex on a super market. You eavesdropped but thanks to your jujitsu skills you managed to somersault your way preventing the corner of the counter to hit you. You go back to her apartment and BOOM! your girlfriend then talks about him and how me she loves him until now.
If you chose situation 1, you're a dumbass. You better run home to your mama and hide under her skirt. On the other hand, if you choose situation 2 then you've already experienced this - an emotional injury.
Too bad I chose number 1. Or I just chose the first situation to mask my jealousy and insecurity.
Rule number 1 (well, in my rule, that is), never EVER talk about your past relationships when you're with your date. Your date doesn't care and might feel insecure about your ex-boyfriends like what happened to me. I am so sorry that I'm not a Varsity Basketball Player. I am so sorry that I am not charming, dreamy or the one who belonged to the jock team during college.
It just makes your date look silly. That's why you are dating because you're done with him, correct? Then why discuss pages of your life that's already been closed or torn? Think about it. This isn't going nowhere,then. sigh.
Mad as hell,
Paul!
Situation 1: You're with your girlfriend and she meets her ex on a super market. You eavesdropped and fell on one of the counters and scraped your knee on the corner.
or
Situation 2: You're with your girlfriend and she meets her ex on a super market. You eavesdropped but thanks to your jujitsu skills you managed to somersault your way preventing the corner of the counter to hit you. You go back to her apartment and BOOM! your girlfriend then talks about him and how me she loves him until now.
If you chose situation 1, you're a dumbass. You better run home to your mama and hide under her skirt. On the other hand, if you choose situation 2 then you've already experienced this - an emotional injury.
Too bad I chose number 1. Or I just chose the first situation to mask my jealousy and insecurity.
Rule number 1 (well, in my rule, that is), never EVER talk about your past relationships when you're with your date. Your date doesn't care and might feel insecure about your ex-boyfriends like what happened to me. I am so sorry that I'm not a Varsity Basketball Player. I am so sorry that I am not charming, dreamy or the one who belonged to the jock team during college.
It just makes your date look silly. That's why you are dating because you're done with him, correct? Then why discuss pages of your life that's already been closed or torn? Think about it. This isn't going nowhere,then. sigh.
Mad as hell,
Paul!
Injury
My right foot hurt a lot after I finished a 45-minute jog two days ago. At first the ankle was reddish and warm to touch but today, it swells and radiates to the lower part of the foot. Advil didn't help and I am still experiencing an excruciating pain which is intolerable. Minutes ago, dad bought me some anti inflammatory cream and a bandage and I used them immediately. Good riddance, the pain was gone and it's getting better as I rested my foot. I can't really walk without any difficulty today and I'm starting to look like a handicapped person which I really don't like. sigh. I hope my condition will be better before the end of the week.Blaming my old worn cheap shoes,
Paul
Monday, April 5, 2010
Survey 1
I found this on my friend's notes on Facebook.
1. Where you named after anyone?
Yeah, I do. All of my names! For Paul - a biblical name. You know, the Apostle? Paul means small or little. Wow, it's either the meaning is incorrect or my folks doesn't know what Paul means because I'm huge. For Nikolai - a great Chessmaster. My dad was a pro chess player during his younger years and he really wanted me to be a master too but unfortunately, I hate mind sports. I don't even know how to play sports!
2.When was the last time you cried?
Minutes ago when I couldn't take the pain on my right ankle anymore. I usually cry. I cry a lot. I cry when my heart broke. I cry when stressed out and I also cry when roaches fly without knowing where it'll land.
3.Do you like your handwriting?
I write best in print but worst on cursive.Thank God for the IELTS examination - people who write cursive will garner no points and thus be disqualified. :)
4.What is your favorite Lunch Meat?
I don't know what that means...oh wait.. is that the same as THE luncheon meat? the one they serve in cans when you open it, a slim cylindrical shape will just blobbed out? well if that is the meaning then my answer would be: no, I don't eat processed food.
5.Do you have kids?
I have a tamagotchi. I consider them as kids-ish.Seriously, I want to have one.
6.If you were another person, would you be friends with you?
Dumb question. of course. they call me Mr. Congeniality!
7. Would you bungee jump?
Yes, absolutely and skydive and rappel and ski and...
8.What is your favorite cereal?
Cookie Krisp. They don't taste like a cereal but they're nutritious according to their commercial.
9. Do you use sarcasm!
Of course I do! I'd love to use them! From everyday conversations to telephone chatting and even to phone sex! (sarcasm)
10.Do you untie your shoelaces when you take them off?
Mostly the shoes I wear have Velcro on them now but if I'm taking off shoes with laces, I'm just going to loosen, not untie them.
11. Do you still have tonsils?
Yes, never experienced any surgeries though except circumcision.
12. What is your favorite Ice Cream?
Ube. hahah.A purple root crop which is famous in the Philippines, and Butterscotch.
13. What is the first thing you notice about people?
The way they dress.
14.Red or Pink?
Are those the only options?
15. What is your least favorite about yourself?
Hard question. NEXT! That would be my sophistication.
16. Who do you miss the most?
My mom
17. What color pants and shoes are you're wearing right now?
Are you kidding me? It's night time and I'm wearing my pajamas.
18. What are you listening right now?
The humming sound emitting from the air condition unit
19. If you were a crayon, what color would you be?
Better question: Is it Gray, or Grey? :) I like blue.
20. Who was the last person you've talked on the phone?
A friend. *blushes*
21. Favorite Smell?
Lemon Iced tea and shaving cream
22.Favorite Sports to watch?
See question 1.
23. Hair color?
Brown black
24.Eye color
Brown
25. Do you wear contact lenses?
I wore them when I was still in College. Glasses are for nerds plus they fog up my sight.
26.Favorite food?
Mom's cooking
27.Scary Movies or Happy Endings?
I like Happy movies with scary endings.
28. Last movie you've watched?
Inkheart.
29. What color of shirt you're wearing?
Red
30. Summer or winter?
I love Winter so that I can wear anything above the ordinary. Scarves, trench coats, bonnets, ear muffs, oh pure bliss!
31.Hugs or Kisses?
Hugs and Kisses :)
32. Book you're reading right now?
Stephen King's
33.What did you watch on TV last night?
Fantastic 4 and its sequel.
34. Do you have a special talent?
I can do somersaults. And lying :D
35. Where were you born?
I was cracked open on a bamboo tree by a bird.
36. How did you meet your insignificant other?
Popped out from my mind.
1. Where you named after anyone?
Yeah, I do. All of my names! For Paul - a biblical name. You know, the Apostle? Paul means small or little. Wow, it's either the meaning is incorrect or my folks doesn't know what Paul means because I'm huge. For Nikolai - a great Chessmaster. My dad was a pro chess player during his younger years and he really wanted me to be a master too but unfortunately, I hate mind sports. I don't even know how to play sports!
2.When was the last time you cried?
Minutes ago when I couldn't take the pain on my right ankle anymore. I usually cry. I cry a lot. I cry when my heart broke. I cry when stressed out and I also cry when roaches fly without knowing where it'll land.
3.Do you like your handwriting?
I write best in print but worst on cursive.Thank God for the IELTS examination - people who write cursive will garner no points and thus be disqualified. :)
4.What is your favorite Lunch Meat?
I don't know what that means...oh wait.. is that the same as THE luncheon meat? the one they serve in cans when you open it, a slim cylindrical shape will just blobbed out? well if that is the meaning then my answer would be: no, I don't eat processed food.
5.Do you have kids?
I have a tamagotchi. I consider them as kids-ish.Seriously, I want to have one.
6.If you were another person, would you be friends with you?
Dumb question. of course. they call me Mr. Congeniality!
7. Would you bungee jump?
Yes, absolutely and skydive and rappel and ski and...
8.What is your favorite cereal?
Cookie Krisp. They don't taste like a cereal but they're nutritious according to their commercial.
9. Do you use sarcasm!
Of course I do! I'd love to use them! From everyday conversations to telephone chatting and even to phone sex! (sarcasm)
10.Do you untie your shoelaces when you take them off?
Mostly the shoes I wear have Velcro on them now but if I'm taking off shoes with laces, I'm just going to loosen, not untie them.
11. Do you still have tonsils?
Yes, never experienced any surgeries though except circumcision.
12. What is your favorite Ice Cream?
Ube. hahah.A purple root crop which is famous in the Philippines, and Butterscotch.
13. What is the first thing you notice about people?
The way they dress.
14.Red or Pink?
Are those the only options?
15. What is your least favorite about yourself?
Hard question. NEXT! That would be my sophistication.
16. Who do you miss the most?
My mom
17. What color pants and shoes are you're wearing right now?
Are you kidding me? It's night time and I'm wearing my pajamas.
18. What are you listening right now?
The humming sound emitting from the air condition unit
19. If you were a crayon, what color would you be?
Better question: Is it Gray, or Grey? :) I like blue.
20. Who was the last person you've talked on the phone?
A friend. *blushes*
21. Favorite Smell?
Lemon Iced tea and shaving cream
22.Favorite Sports to watch?
See question 1.
23. Hair color?
Brown black
24.Eye color
Brown
25. Do you wear contact lenses?
I wore them when I was still in College. Glasses are for nerds plus they fog up my sight.
26.Favorite food?
Mom's cooking
27.Scary Movies or Happy Endings?
I like Happy movies with scary endings.
28. Last movie you've watched?
Inkheart.
29. What color of shirt you're wearing?
Red
30. Summer or winter?
I love Winter so that I can wear anything above the ordinary. Scarves, trench coats, bonnets, ear muffs, oh pure bliss!
31.Hugs or Kisses?
Hugs and Kisses :)
32. Book you're reading right now?
Stephen King's
33.What did you watch on TV last night?
Fantastic 4 and its sequel.
34. Do you have a special talent?
I can do somersaults. And lying :D
35. Where were you born?
I was cracked open on a bamboo tree by a bird.
36. How did you meet your insignificant other?
Popped out from my mind.
Expected
We met at a mall and I could hardly recognize you because you're different the way I'd seen you in your photos. We traded numbers and talk a bit but now, a lot of times already. I enjoyed your company. I laughed hard at your jokes, I admire your childlike attributes and sometimes get really shy when you pay the bill when during our snacking together. I'm sorry, I don't have a job yet. Maybe next time,though. I like your company a lot. It makes me feel like someone is loving me. Finally, I think I am ready to fall in love again (yuck, too emo). I should give it all, I guess since I really like you and starting to love you. Smart, good and childish - these are just some of your traits that I like. My love strongly grows each time I see you.
Alas, you have someone else. The one you're committed to.
I already knew that since the beginning. At first it was just nothing to me but eventually, my jealousy grew and grew until I cry and break down in tears when I see you with the one you originally love. Maybe I can take the the title THE other person, THE third wheel, I thought
but no, I personally didn't like it but I can't do anything. I'm not trying to be possessive and that person you love may be way better than me.
The fact that I already knew it, then why did I enter this relationship anyway?
Sigh.
I can't answer the question above, I don't know why. Maybe it's because I love you so much that I am breaking rules so you will love me back. Stupid move, boy. I try myself to dissociate to the most extent but I just can't. I tried calling you and texting you but didn't receive any replies. Maybe you're also thinking the same way, too - dissociating.
I understand.
You're doing the right thing.
I'm just scared, that's all.
Alas, you have someone else. The one you're committed to.
I already knew that since the beginning. At first it was just nothing to me but eventually, my jealousy grew and grew until I cry and break down in tears when I see you with the one you originally love. Maybe I can take the the title THE other person, THE third wheel, I thought
but no, I personally didn't like it but I can't do anything. I'm not trying to be possessive and that person you love may be way better than me.
The fact that I already knew it, then why did I enter this relationship anyway?
Sigh.
I can't answer the question above, I don't know why. Maybe it's because I love you so much that I am breaking rules so you will love me back. Stupid move, boy. I try myself to dissociate to the most extent but I just can't. I tried calling you and texting you but didn't receive any replies. Maybe you're also thinking the same way, too - dissociating.
I understand.
You're doing the right thing.
I'm just scared, that's all.
Sunday, April 4, 2010
Bookworm-ish
I'm back on reading Novels again and until today I am still fascinated by Stephen King's writings. His ideas were so morbid and gore-y that I like them so much. I really like reading them books ever since I watched his movie IT. His storyline is very unpredictable and even though the setting was so surreal (of course,it's fictional) but hey, when you read his books, it's like the characters and the environments just popped out of outside but it depends on your imagination though.
Overall, I like majority of his books especially The Mist, IT, Salem's Lot, and Tommy knockers. They're cool and fun to read and I like blood and gore and mutilation and killing and death and all those morbid stuff.
Doesn't like Sidney Sheldon,
Paul
Overall, I like majority of his books especially The Mist, IT, Salem's Lot, and Tommy knockers. They're cool and fun to read and I like blood and gore and mutilation and killing and death and all those morbid stuff.
Doesn't like Sidney Sheldon,
Paul
Friday, April 2, 2010
Down
I won't be blogging for awhile because my computer's broken and I have to let it fix. I will not also be tinkering on my facebook and other internet social networking sites. bummer. Stupid trojans and worms.
Bitfreaked,
Paul
Thursday, April 1, 2010
Weighing Odds
Darn, I can't go back now. I need to have a job. Any job. I don't care. I'm thinking about things I miss when I won't go back to the Philippines or I'll stay here. Last night my head baldy hurts thinking about the pro's and con's of my current situation. I don't know what am I going to do. There's so much things in life that I want to do. It's almost 3am that I felt sleepy. I had a lot of things in mind that only God can guide me.
Heart ripping,
Paul
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