Sulked 2

You know me, an Emo. Emo as in emotional masochist. Not people who wears black all the time (but I'm wearing one now) and sporting those skinny jeans and applying those eyebrow makeup. I love it when my heart bleeds to death. I love it when people bash at me emotionally and most of all I really love it when I sulk in my bed and cry.

But this situation was different.

15 March 2011, 4:30 PM

One Project Manager stepped in the office with a Major Pain on his kidney for kidney stones. Two stones on the left and 3 on the right. I hope I got it right. Anyway, he showed me an ampule inside a bottle. From the looks of it, I think I already knew what he wanted from me. Giving him and injection intramuscularly. He then elaborated his condition and he needed me to inject the drug on his butt cheek. Sounds easy.

Not.

Then here's the dilemma. You see, I am not a REGISTERED Nurse here in Qatar. I am in the Philippines. For 2 years of work, and 2 years of on the job training, injecting patients are like my thing, not to brag.

Here comes my boss. She told me let a nurse do it for him. What the- i was a bit offended but I respected her decision. So I told the Project Manager the reason. He then gave me a look, a look I will never forget until I die, a look of regret and shame. Deep in his heart I know what that look meant.

He went down, bemused and a bit mad. I then asked one Engineer to translate what is he murmuring about. He told me, 'I'm a FAKE nurse.'

That phrase struck me like lightning. It wobbled my knees making me burst into tears and wept like there's no tomorrow. This has been my most depressing moment for this month. I sipped my coffee and went to the bathroom to cry a bit. It's really not good for a male to cry here, they told. Good thing it was 4:40PM in the afternoon. Twenty more minutes before off-time and some people were not using the comfort room anymore.

At home, I never sulked. My emotional masochism wasn't there. I don't know what happened. I passed out maybe because of being tired, and hurt.