Lost

I still remembered when I met this girl in college. She's pretty all right and talented and smart and well bred by her parents. She was popular at school sweeping boys under her feet with her graceful walks and relaxed and calm talks. Maybe all of the guys in our school know her.

Luckily, she was my classmate. Sometimes we talked a bit sometimes a lot when we're still waiting for the bell to ring. Sometimes we both spent time studying in the library and get her some snacks. We somehow made a connection but I don't have the guts to ask her out on a date yet.

She's single by the way so it's all right for me to court her but I'm kinda scared. Because what if she wants something that I can't afford to buy? What if she wants us to go somewhere that I can't even afford to go there myself? You see, we're not rich. My parents can barely send us to College but they sacrificed hard to get us to an excellent University but she, she's rich, filthy rich I say. Her family owns a large farm in her hometown. She has siblings working in well-off companies locally and abroad so by that, we still remained best of friends during College.

The 20th of July, her birthday. I was invited on her 18th birthday - a debut. I was never one of her 18 roses because I declined since I don't have anything nice to wear. She said it was okay but it would make her happy if I come on her party. So I borrowed some of my friend's casual clothes and hurriedly went there. The place was awesome - from the wide clean tables to the drapes that wrapped the pedestals of the venue. Why am I here, I said to myself. This is not my world. This is not my pack but I promised to be here so I should be here.

Her friends were the elite. the aristocrats. the first class while I was there standing looking like a waiter or something. I saw her and she saw me, too. she was more beautiful than ever before. After the dance, she approached me and I gave her a hug. We talked and she introduced me to her group of elite friends. But then, her friends don't like me. They told something not good about me to her.

'Why him? He's poor!'

'Look at how he wear? that's disgusting'

'ukay ukay ba yang suot nya? hahah'

'Good thing he's not included among the 18 roses. He's a weed!'

Upon hearing that, I somehow froze with humiliation. People are laughing at me. Mocking in front of me. She didn't do anything. I understand because she doesn't wanna be laughed at either. I just smiled and pretended to be excused and went to the bathroom. I cried inside one of the cubicles. I somehow got disappointed why she didn't defend me or something but it's too late now. I wanna go home but before that I wanted to give her my gift. I went out of the restroom eyes red and gave her my birthday gift - a greeting card and a rose. 'Sorry, i said. That's the only thing that I can afford right now,' and left. I don't think she liked my gift. I saw her gifts from the guys in the party - watches, bracelets, lockets and jewelery that every girl but a card? that's just plain stupid. I walked out of the door never to look back again.

Until today, we never ever talked to each other. Maybe because I am afraid to be humiliated again or something or maybe she doesn't want to. I hope she read that card, because that is where I wrote my feelings for her. :(

Reminisced,

Paul